Joy

Joy, joy, the joys of being young. No inhibitions holding you back. No knowledge of the world's pain and darkness. No care of anything but the right now moment.
Oh the right now moments...how sweet they can be.

A "way cool" thing about raising kids...

you can show them how fun things can be. You can point them to jolliness and set them loose on it. "Hey boys! See these leaves spread all over the ground? Watch how fun they can be when you rake them into a pile!"

This kind of joy and enthusiasm is soooo contagious. I can't help but giggle just looking at the pictures and thinking about how much fun they had running back and forth jumping into the air with wild abandon and falling into the middle of it.


Birth order, bossiness and who's in charge all turned into comradery, uncontrolled laughter and...wait for it....joy.

So Cal is a little behind in the changing of seasons...because they have seemingly eternal amounts of summer...so yes it is the middle of December and yes there are Christmas lights everywhere buut these leaves just made there way to the ground. And since it's not very cold here even when it's "cold" we played for a good long time.

Take the laughter and store it up for a rainy day. It's times like these that get us over the next hill. Days like this that restore our souls and remind us that there's hope for something more. Their is fun out there waiting to be had so why sit in the sad corner? Go find some jolliness and make it happen. Rake that "mess all over the yard" into "the new exciting thing to do".


And smile big...don't forget to smile big.

Gravity

I never got a chance to start writing this when I was still all full to the brim with warm fuzzies.
Funny thing about warm fuzzies....they don't last. Good ol' gravity get's me every time. So some of the magic may be gone but that's ok because I still remember it.
I wanted to say things about how only divine intervention could make a trip that good. I wanted to talk about how even though I've never been a "run home to momma" type, this time it felt good to pack it all up and head for the hills. Me, Kim and three kids 4 and under. People helped us and showered love on us. There were moments where I literally felt like I was being carried. The airport angels were strong....and I couldn't have asked for a better friend to help me through it all. .

She carried my luggage, my baby and my broken heart keeping each one safe and protected. I was hurting, missing my Chad, and I needed to go. So together we charged.

We hit the beach on our one day of fun. This beach feels as much like home to me as anywhere. I have a lot of memories stored up here and it was sweet to bring my boys to it. We unleashed them and they loved every minute of it. It was a day full of trusting Jesus with the next minute and watching as he poured out his blessings. Oh have mercy on my soul...

Nathan LOVES his Papa! The boys and I really enjoyed the time we got to spend with them at the Easleys home. As is only God's perfect timing, Chads boat stopped in San Diego for two days while we were there and they let him come see us...
no pictures of that we were too busy soaking up every minute of it.

Lincoln loves anyone who will hold him and there was no shortage of ready waiting arms at the Easley household.


It felt so good to be surrounded by family and laughter. I actually had a reason to cook.


I wouldn't have come alone. I didn't think I could do it. Even with an escort I set out with great hesitation.Thank you dear friend for putting yourself aside and carrying me while I was too weak to walk. Thank you for loving me for all of who I am.

Thank you for teaching me how to, even in difficult circumstances, STRUT.

Now the trick is learning how to do that on my own. There is something increasely difficult about standing firm in who you are, believing in where God is taking you, clinging to the truth of a new life and a new heart and a new being when the world that surrounds you screams of all the old. When those old ugly beasts begin to rear their heads and you don't have anywhere to turn. Every way you go you bump into a wall or trip over those shoes someone left in the hallway and it's midnight and you just want to go pee and get back in bed.

But even as I was typing this up God revealed to me his continuing faithfulness by stirring up conversation with my Dad that addressed every hurt I had, fear I felt and lie that was being spoken in my heart. We talked about the kids and their out of control behavior and how to deal with it better tomorrow. We talked about disciplining with love and we talked about love. I walked away from the conversation feeling loved and listened too. That is new. That is God. That is redemption.

I got an email from Chad today and the last thing he said was, "stay focused on TRUTH, stay centered on GOD, and when you start to lose sight or become distracted by lies, PRAYER will bring you home."

Thank you Chad for the well timed words and thank you God for answering my cry for help.
So gravity may have pulled me back down to earth but I can still jump, I can still run and yes Kim I can still "strut". Tomorrow is a new day and I'm gonna take it and make it mine.